We all have something we are working towards in life, something that we reach for only to have it seem to take several hasty steps further away from us. This can be discouraging, disheartening, and downright frustrating. To think, "There! I can just touch it!" and suddenly our end game seems more distant than it ever was. What to do? Abandon our dream, pick a new one, find a different goal? Don't give up!
Anything worth having is worth working for. Sometimes, more often than not if you are me, the thing worth having means more work than ever dreamed of. It doesn't matter. Look at it this way. Every fumbling step you take is just a building block of experience in life. Take myself for example. I have three huge goals in life. 1.) I want to get fit again, like I was when I got married. 2.) I want a Master's degree in English Literature. 3.) I want, so very badly, to find a literary agent that will look at my writings and say "YES! I can get you published!"
I spent the past 10 years fighting what seemed to be a losing battle against constant weight gain. And then two years ago I re-assessed and looked at everything I had done WRONG. I didn't look at what I had done right. To be truthful, I hadn't done much correctly. But what am I saying? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we think we are doing right, that we don't even realize everything we are doing wrong that is pulling us down, down, down.
Now, this is not always the case, but let me assure you, we, as a human beings, are proud creatures! To admit we might be wrong is to admit a weakness that can be scary to face. And yet, we must look at the downside as well as the upside. The downside tells us how we can improve, where we can improve. If we are only ever right then shouldn't we have succeeded in every area of our lives by now? Yes. But we haven't (unless you are perfect and then, of reader, please let me meet you and learn from you!).
I wasted three years taking inconsequential classes as I pursued a basic bachelor's degree. Oh, I told everyone around me that I was excelling and pursuing and getting closer to my dreams, but in reality I was scared to fail and so I danced around getting down to business. This is the next thing I want to bring up.
Don't scare yourself or intimidate yourself into believing that you could possibly fail to reach your goals. It's easy to say we don't do this, but quite often, if we look deep inside, we will find that the reason our goals always seem so far away, is because we have been sabotaging ourselves. It may be unintentional, but there it is; lurking beneath the surface, so close to our skin, that we have become used to it and no longer see it for what it is. It's okay to be scared. I don't think I would want to chase something so boring that it never frightened me at least a little! Be frightened! Let your dreams and goals be that big. Just learn to control that fear.
For those of you who write, who wish to be but are not published, who create worlds in your minds and characters that keep you company, those of you who dream of one day having your hard work acknowledged, keep on keeping on. Re-assess what you have been doing up to this point and look at the things that DO NOT work for you. Don't look at what you've done right so far. What you've done right up to this point hasn't taken you to where you hoped you'd be by now, has it? If it has, please disregard this. I am speaking to myself and to those who are still chasing that publishing dream.
Stop letting fear keep you from learning from those who have succeeded. Stop thinking that what you do right is the only way to improve. Take your faults, shortcomings, downsides, and excuses, line them up, list them out, and tackle them one by one. Eventually, you will succeed. It will be worth every hour of heartache and pain, frustration and tears, sweat and agony that you go through. I find that there is little satisfaction in easy, handed to me, success. When I succeed, I want to look back and see the trail of me I have left behind - because behind me are the parts I did not need. I shed them like an unwanted layer of faults and shortcomings and became better and stronger.
Growing and learning should be a never ending experience. So make mistakes, be scared, be humble, take advice, concede to the fact that we do not know everything, and always keep keeping on.
*I graduate with my Master's degree in English Romantic and Victorian Literature in the Fall of 2016
*I have shed almost 70 pounds in the past 16 months
*I have two academic pieces being published and am still chasing the elusive literary agent for my fiction. :)
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